Nicknames can be tricky things... most times chosen for us, not by us.. some are liked (by us).. others, not so much.
Being born Bernard Joseph (Anthony was the later confirmation-addition) in Yonkers, New York.. when brought home, I was instantly declared to be "Brother" by my four year old sister, Diane.
When I was very small, we moved from Westchester County to upper Riverside Drive in Manhattan, so my father (Bernard.. aka "Benny") could be closer to his work as a blacktop construction foreman.
As I grew older, and he would sometimes take me to job sites to help with odd jobs (cleaning 'smudge-pots' was NOT a personal favorite), I became "Benny Jr" to all his friends and co-workers.
When he transferred work locations up to the Bronx, we then moved to 169th Street on Jerome Avenue, a few blocks north of Yankee Stadium. It was at that time when in middle school that I first became "Bernie."
My mom, Josephine, always disliked Bernie, she didn't like being called "Josie," and so my new handle to her was none better. She wanted to have me go around telling everyone to call me Bernard.. for that's all she ever called me her entire life.
Good luck with that... young people, especially teenagers, will most times call you what they know you don't especially care for, no matter WHAT you ask them !!
That stuck through most of high school and early years of college until I met (later to become a life-long good friend). Mike Hart, at Iona College in New Rochelle, NY. It was Mike that first started calling me "BJ".. and I preferred that moniker to all the others.
So from then on, most times when someone asked.. I was BJ.
(There have been exceptions, where folks make assumptions, and I don't always correct them.. and I take full responsibility.)
Trying to get old dogs (or people) to change ways at best has mixed results. One or two balk incessantly.. some over time will adjust to the change.. and others just say ok right from the time you tell them (my favorite)... and a good portion will flip back and forth (like Mike), one to the other.. at times, in the course of the same conversation.
So on my headstone, don't be surprised to find...Bernard.. Brother.. Benny Jr... Bernie.. & BJ (w/ the largest lettering).
..and BTW.. Bernadette has similar feelings regarding her nickname(s).. she accepts "Bern".. but could totally take a pass on the "other" one...(but will respond).
